The Advice Corner: What approach should I take to get my child to eat more vegetables?

This month’s question: Should I force my child to eat vegetables or let it go?

Sharon Rosenberg-Scholl, Engagement and Education Manager:

Please know that it’s extremely common for children to experience aversions to certain foods, and/or be picky eaters. It’s also extremely common for parents to find these limitations very frustrating and feel a deep desire, and sometimes pressure from others, to get their children to eat a wider repertoire of foods. I’d encourage you to be kind to both yourself and your child when eating is hard for one or both of you.

It may seem like there are only two options – forcing your child to eat vegetables or letting it go. However, there is a third option that I would encourage – walking the middle path. That could mean thinking strategically about incorporating vegetables into your child’s diet gradually while keeping a relaxed approach.

First and foremost, it’s best not to make eating a battleground, so I’d suggest letting go of forcing anything. It can help to think of the goal as education and exposure, planting seeds with the confidence that, while it may take time, some of those seeds will surely grow. Here are some ideas you might choose from to take this middle path approach:

• Relax, which is easier said than done, but so important. Put vegetables (and fruit!) in front of your child often, but don’t pressure them to eat them. Be aware of your body language too. Children can tell when you really WANT to pressure them, even if you aren’t saying anything. Try to just relax and enjoy the vegetables yourself.

• Limit snacks between meals to protein and fresh produce. Packaged snacks and carbs have an addictive quality that makes our bodies crave more. By focusing on protein and produce, children (and adults) are much more likely to eat what they are actually hungry for and stop when full. This includes bringing vegetables with you when you are on the go.

• When mealtime is approaching, prepare a plate of simple cut vegetables and place it out with no comment, except something like “if you are hungry there’s an appetizer plate here.” Doing this avoids dealing with a child asking for snacks as dinner is approaching. And if they do fill up before the meal, they are filling up on vegetables.

• Invite your child to help you choose some vegetables for you all to try. Take them with you to the grocery store and look together at the fresh produce. Notice together the colors, shapes, and names of the produce. Invite them to choose something they know they like and something new they would like to try, and then incorporate those into mealtimes together.

• At each family meal, try to include one vegetable your child already eats, and one they haven’t eaten yet, or have tried but don’t yet like. Model eating both, but don’t pressure them to eat what they don’t want to.

• Speaking of “yet,” that can be a helpful word. If your child says they don’t like something, accept that, but also reframe it with this important word; as in, “Ok. You don’t like cucumbers yet.” This helps build the understanding that people often find they like to eat foods that they didn’t used to enjoy.

• Be a vegetable detective. Notice aloud, as you are eating vegetables (and fruits), what you like about them. And then as you notice which vegetables are in your child’s repertoire, pay attention to the characteristics of those choices. Do they like soft or crunchy? Do they like raw or cooked? Do they like vegetables as part of a larger dish, or separate? Build on that when offering new vegetables to try, saying something like, “I know you like how carrots crunch. These cauliflower pieces also crunch.” Or, “You mentioned you liked how juicy the sweet peppers we had were. These cucumber pieces are also juicy.”

• Consider smoothies. Making a breakfast smoothie for both of you can be a great way to get fruits and vegetables (and protein) into your child’s diet (and yours!) at the start of the day. This also might help you to relax, knowing they’ve already taken in some good nutrition. Start with flavors you know they like and then incorporate a small amount of greens or other veggies, increasing the amount over time. Make sure it tastes good! And if the color is off-putting, use opaque cups since we eat with our eyes as well.

Lastly, please don’t try all of these at once, which may cause you to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. Pick one to start and build a new habit and once that feels natural, pick one more, and so on. Above all, please do remember to be kind to yourself and to try to relax and enjoy mealtimes with your child.

The Advice Corner

The Advice Corner provides responses from a variety of staff, each with unique expertise, background and perspective. Please let us know if you have questions that you would like us to highlight. We want to hear from you! Questions will be posted anonymously. Please email questions to acowan@jfcsmn.org