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The myth of motivation: What to do when you don’t feel like doing anything

By Nikole Pitman, MS, LPCC • JFCS Therapist

Have you ever heard of the “secret” to motivation? The “secret” is that you can’t wait for motivation to find you. You have to find it yourself. Seems a bit counterintuitive, doesn’t it? I hear you! Most people who struggle with motivation are looking for that spark to help ignite action. We look out for that “right mood” or mindset. We yearn for that mysterious and often elusive feeling of wanting to do something before we begin doing it. Motivation often shows up after we start moving. Kind of like that friend you enjoy spending time with, but is always late. Despite their consistent tardiness, you still invite them though.

I’ll let you in on another secret about motivation – it isn’t a fixed trait. It’s a fluctuating state. Just like our emotions, our daily habits, experiences, and supports can all influence how much or how little motivated we feel. Despite these truths, somehow along the way our society adopted a belief that we need to wait for motivation before we take action. Sometimes we might think we need to wait for that spark to find us, but the truth is that action precedes motivation.

When “just not feeling like it” means something more

How do you know when “just not feeling like it” means something more? Many of us have days where we’d rather stay in bed, scroll on our phones, or stream a good show all day and put our to-do list aside. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re unmotivated. We all need periods to rest and recharge.

Low motivation might look like struggling with starting or completing tasks, a decline in self-care, avoiding making that phone call, or even getting out of bed in the morning. You might notice thinking negative thoughts about yourself, feeling hopeless, or even adrift and disconnected. You aren’t lazy and you aren’t broken. You’re human. Lack of motivation deserves understanding, rather than judgment.

When you just “don’t feel like doing anything,” it could be your nervous system sending you a message: “I’m overwhelmed!” Sometimes what we experience as a “lack of motivation” is really burnout, exhaustion, stress, depression, or trauma. Sometimes it’s all of that at once. This can drain the mental energy that goes into caring, planning, or even starting a task.

If this feels familiar, it might sound like:

  • “I don’t care about the things I used to enjoy.”
  • “Everything feels like it’ll take too much effort.”
  • “I’m always tired, no matter how much rest I get.”
  • “I’m always busy, but I never feel accomplished.”
 

If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing more than low motivation. It could be emotional fatigue, burnout, or depression creeping in – signs that your mind and body need some TLC. When we tell ourselves that we’re being lazy, we add guilt to exhaustion. When we treat these signs as signals for help, we open space for healing and change.

So what do we do when motivation isn’t showing up?

You might be thinking, “Ok, Nikole. You’re telling me to do something when the entire problem is that I don’t feel like doing anything?” Fair question! If getting started were that easy, we probably wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Start by looking at what you’re asking of yourself. When we’re already overwhelmed, “clean the house” can feel like too much. There are dishes, laundry, floors, and somehow that pile of mail that has become a permanent fixture on the counter. Where do you even begin?

For now, start small and pick one thing. Put a few dishes in the dishwasher. Gather the laundry without committing to washing it. Open the envelope you’ve been avoiding. Give yourself a starting point that fits the energy you actually have today. You’re allowed to stop after that! Seriously. A small task doesn’t have to turn into an entire afternoon of productivity to count!

Make starting a little easier

Sometimes we spend more energy just thinking about a task than the task itself would actually take. We rehearse it, dread it, remind ourselves that we haven’t done it, and then feel worse each time we see it sitting there.

Try getting specific about the first step. If you need to make an appointment, that might mean finding the phone number first. If you want to prioritize walking, it might mean putting your shoes by the door or looking up a walking path near your home. You don’t have to feel ready for the whole thing to take the first step.

You can also give yourself some support. Put on music while you wash the dishes. Try body doubling by asking someone to sit with you while you work through paperwork. There’s no requirement that you make an unpleasant task harder by doing it in silence and entirely on your own.

It could also be helpful to pay attention to what happens afterward. Maybe you feel a little better. Maybe you still feel tired, but the phone call is finally off your mind. Maybe you realize you need a break! Noticing how you feel afterward helps you figure out what actually helps you, instead of relying on how you feel about it before you even start. The goal is to find a manageable way to begin, and to notice when what you need is rest, support, or a different expectation of yourself.

When low motivation sticks around

If low motivation keeps hanging around or starts getting in the way of daily life, consider checking in with a therapist. Together, you can figure out what’s making it hard to get started, work through any avoidance or self-criticism that might be keeping you stuck, and find a starting point that feels manageable for you.

JFCS Counseling offers compassionate, confidential support for individuals, couples, and families. Our licensed clinicians provide a range of therapeutic services to help you build emotional well-being and resilience. We are Here for all. Always.

Learn more or schedule an appointment here or call 952-546-0616.