The Advice Corner: Concerned about teen’s mental health during summer break

This month’s question: Since the beginning of summer break, I’ve noticed my teen is more irritable and withdrawn, and I’m concerned about their mental health. What should I do?

Angela Cowan, MSW, LICSW • Counseling Program Manager and Therapist:

Summer can be a welcome break from the busyness of the school year, and teens may welcome the opportunity for more free time, a break from homework, and more time to spend with friends. The swift shift from the expectations of the school year to more unstructured time during the summer break and perhaps less opportunities to connect with friends and peers can be a tricky transition to navigate – and it can lead to an increase in symptoms of anxiety and depression.

It takes time to adjust to transitions; however, after a few weeks, if you notice a change in your teen’s behavior or a pattern of isolation, irritability, disrupted sleep schedule, etc., then it may be time to check in.

Open communication

Clear and compassionate communication about your observations and concerns is effective when approaching a conversation with your teen about their mental and emotional health. It is also important to provide your teen with space; they may not be ready to talk when you first approach them, and that is ok.

To increase the likelihood of engagement in the conversation, though, there are some factors to take into consideration.

Timing

If your teen is pre-occupied or is presenting as upset or frustrated, it may not be the best time to engage in conversation. Instead, try engaging them in conversation when you are doing something together – like taking a walk – and when they seem relaxed.

Tone

Approach the conversation with a non-judgmental tone, where you simply note your observations. Avoid language that sounds accusatory. Instead of “You are spending more time in your room than you should be,” try “I’ve noticed you are spending more time in your room.“

Active listening

Allow space for your teen to respond to your observations. Listen without interrupting. Ask if they have thought about what they’d like to do to try to help with what they have been experiencing and provide space to explore their ideas with them.

Ways to support mental health during the summer break

Collaborating with your teen on ways to support them during the summer break can create a feeling of safety within your relationship. The points below may naturally arise in your conversation with your teen; if these points do not arise, it can be helpful to share these ideas with your teen.

Flexible routine

Summer allows for more free time and unstructured time. For teens who experience symptoms of anxiety, the unstructured time can lead to boredom or a loss of direction and can actually lead to an increase in anxiety.

Working with your teen to develop a routine around self-care activities like sleep time, wake time and mealtimes can help provide a sense of security and stability without developing a rigid routine.

Routines around screen time can model having a healthy relationship with technology and support self-care activities. Consider working with your teen to identify time limits for their screen time. Most electronic devices have settings that can be applied to limit screen time and specific apps, so this may be something to explore with your teen. You can also set specific times for screen time usage. For example, to aid healthy sleep habits, you may develop a routine where screen time usage or access to screens ends one hour before bedtime.

Socialization

If there are limited engagements during the summer, it is easier for teens to become isolated and withdrawn.

Explore opportunities with your teen to interact with others. If your teen uses technology and screens to socialize, encourage opportunities for in-person connection. This could look like planning an outdoor activity – like hiking or going for a bike ride – and encouraging them to invite a friend to join.

Exploring part-time job opportunities, classes where your teen could develop a new skill/interest, or joining outdoor recreational activities could also be ways for your teen to find in-person connection without overscheduling their time.

Encourage spending time outside

With access to screens and an increase in unsupervised and unstructured time, it can be hard to make sure your teen is spending time out of the house. Are there outdoor activities your teen enjoys, such as swimming or playing an outdoor sport? Work together to find ways to make healthy outdoor activities they enjoy accessible. Perhaps this looks like creating a plan for transportation to and from the activity or purchasing passes to the pool.

In addition to preparing for outdoor activities, set aside time to spend time outside with your teen. Evening walks and bike rides could be a nice way to wind down from the day. Sitting outside with ice cream or another summer treat could be a way to build connection and provide space from screens.

Expectations

The increased amount of unsupervised time can also provide more space for teens to explore their independence. While it is normal for teens to explore boundaries and limitations, they still benefit from knowing what the expectations are.

Connect with your teen to discuss and establish expectations, such as expectations around communication and check-ins, expectations around safety, and expectations around screen time.

Supporting your teen

Making space for direct communication and collaboration can help your teen navigate summer break. Counseling services can also be a helpful way for your teen to gain support for their mental health. If you are interested in Counseling support for your teen, contact JFCS of Minnesota at 952-526-0616.

The Advice Corner

The Advice Corner provides responses from a variety of staff, each with unique expertise, background and perspective. Please let us know if you have questions that you would like us to highlight. We want to hear from you! Questions will be posted anonymously. Please email questions to acowan@jfcsmn.org